psychoti c

HARRR JAR HAR HAR HARRR

\\

a HOI UH-HOIT AHOI

pointy nosey ahr harr

crying jag.

buried within

suspended in the silence of the most eerie of mind,
whispers inflame; its source is from the core of your being
breathing to life the most deepest of secrets
of the one who gives purpose, the truth, your spirit.

Full of BS

Is it fair to say that ignorance makes me barking mad? Am I allowed to express my mind when I say I hate those who speak assertively on a subject when in reality they are not so absolutely certain about the legitimacy of their claims? This really is the determining factor that shapes my personality in terms of verbal fighting. I detest superfluity, fluff, artificiality, and people talking for the sake of talking and feeling the gratification in having the final say. This is the reason why I choose not to raise my opinion unless I know what I am about to say has substance. What is the purpose of it all? Why must arguments be so minutely dissected so that the initial intent, the point, is lost amidst all the pent up emotion and frustration? And to think that these are the very people who believe they are speaking from objectivity devoid of becoming subject to being sentimental when their very motivation to argue is a conspicuous denial of feeling. I, for one, refuse to accept squabbling without merit. That's right. What may mean the world to you has just been reduced to the status of mere blahblahblah's especially when the validity of your claims are questionable or insufficiently supported.

Words are meaningless without truth.

Things I Covet.

David Yurman

7mm Prasiolite Petite Albion Ring

$590.00

From the Petite Albion® Collection. Sterling silver prasiolite and pave diamond ring. 0.20 total carat weight. 7mm.

Unfortunately,

she took the words right out of my mouth.

"Eric Northman Is Ruining My Life

...Anyway, I've finally admitted to myself that I'm now a card-carrying member of Team Sookie & Eric Need To Finally Get It On, And Not Just In One Of Those Crazy Vampire Sex Dreams Because She Drank His Blood, Either. Because you know what? As adorable as I found Bill to be in Season 1, he spent all of last season plus the past two episodes totally chapping my ass. And here's why: Bill Compton is moody, brooding, highly conflicted, ineffective, inconsistent, and all around too much of a normal guy, whereas Eric Northman, I've come to realize, is, in every way, women's ideal.

All I have to say is damn you, Alan Ball; damn you, True Blood writers; damn you, Alexander Skarsgard; because the last fourteen episodes or so have basically been brewing the perfect storm that has not only forced me to join Team Eric, but ultimately will cause me great disappointment and sorrow due to the fact that Eric Northman, A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, is the mythological perfect man, and I will never find said creature in my non-fictional life. Thanks, ya dicks.


Swoooonnnnn. What it comes down to is this: Eric Northman represents the allegorical, the fabled, the legendary badass with a heart of gold, and that's all girls really want, nevermind that fact that it's nearly impossible to find one in the wild. The fact that Alex Skarsgard, the actor who plays Eric, is a tall descendant of Vikings with kind eyes, perfect lips, and the body of a Greek god is just really great icing on an already delectable cake.

I've made a list of Eric's qualities that, in my opinion, every guy should have:
1. Takes care of business. In a way that inspires confidence, so you get the sense he is reliable.
2. He is the strong, silent type, which I have a very large weakness for. Speaks softly but carries a big stick, as they say.
3. Wears track jackets.
4. Has good relationships with his maker/big Godric and his makee/little Pam. You could say he is vampire family-oriented. He loves and respects them, and this is what softens Eric and makes him human-like. Whose heart didn't melt when Godric died and a few blood-tears slid down Eric's beautiful cheeks? He's an exemplary maker, and a lot of makers are really crappy bigs (ahem, Bill).
5. Persistent, like how he pursues Sookie, but not in a creepy or desperate way. It's more like "I like you, you know that. Deep down you also know you want me, I'll be here when you finally figure that out." Sexy.
6. Protective, but out of chivalry, not out of jealousy.
7. He's kind of an asshole sometimes, but he always manages to be an asshole in a really attractive way.
8. Face of an angel. (This is more of an Alex quality than an Eric quality, but they have the same face, so it goes on this list.)
9. He has pointers.
10. Smart, responsible, self-sufficient, upstanding citizen, as evidenced by the fact that he is not only a business owner, but is also Sheriff of the Vampires' Area 5.
11. Almost always cool, calm, and collected. Tends not to raise his voice. Only gets all heated and busts the fangs out when things are REALLY going awry, like when Longshadow was stealing from him and werewolves snuck into Sookie's house.
12. Funny, but unfazed by his own humor, like when he said to Lafayette "Let's go, RuPaul."
13. Well groomed, at least ever since the day they made that excellent, excellent decision to chop off his hair and put him in a track jacket.
14. Perceptive, like how he noticed that one werewolf had a Mississippi accent. He'd probably notice subtleties like nail polish color and girls freakin' love that.
15. Rarely kills people. I have to admit, was not such a fan when he tore that one dude limb from limb when Lafayette was chained up in Fangtasia's basement, but we'll let that one slide, because back to point #1 - he takes care of business.

I know what you're thinking, what a ridiculous list! But you know what I have to say to that? Pffttt. That's what I say, because I don't think it's so much to ask that men wear track jackets and generally keep from killing people, and yet such men only seem to exist for one hour a week on a premium cable channel. Though I do have a close friend who works on True Blood who tells me things like "If you met him in real life, you'd fall in love. Nice guy." And then I sigh dreamy sighs and let my chin rest on my hand whilst gazing woefully into the clouds, fantasizing about the day I find my Eric Northman/Alex Skarsgard; my unicorn; my warm-hearted badass. And when that day comes, you can bet your ass that I won't be letting that one get away. He'll be getting tied up in my basement, Fangtasia-style. Just with, ya know, less brutal murder."

- Lauren from Phoenix, AZ

irritants.

people are so fickle.

rhetoric

"Speech is a powerful master and achieves the most divine feats with the smallest and least evident body. It can stop fear, relieve pain, create joy, and increase pity."
- sophist Gorgias (485-380 BC)

I was studying my hands today and truly saw for the first time the intricate pattern dark blue-green veins made underneath my palms and fingers; such delicacies have been splotched over by ruddy pinks and asian yellow color tones. Prolonged concentration made these strange-like tentacles branching off a soft centerpiece foreign to my sense of bodily relations. Funny how we use these things to inspire, to create, to make real our innovations and to present beautiful and carefully crafted accomplishments...

Heartache Original.

Re-cycled.

I wish I was cool, hip and sway; I wish I had the understated pride and the ability to make others feel chilled after encountering my air-conditioned allure. But I am neither of these things and am in fact that gawky girl who would prevent you from getting that cherry to complete your otherwise perfect ice cream sundae. The strangest things happen to me, like getting my foot stuck on one of those black sticky mouse traps in someone else' basement, and light conversation has most definitely deprived me of its art and skill. I bypass those pockets of opportunities and take chances when instinctive moments have long since been concluded. So...
I am a re-cycled me, a broken machine with odd, angular extensions and version five point one's. I have bandages camouflaging past blunders with new baby flesh, and on my face one will find that it has been creased with a lopsided grin shaped by a mixture of suppressed metal bars and an eager spirit awaiting for the day freedom will come. And now I am putting this strip of knowledge into your hands. It is really up to you to see if you can picture this disjointed, emotionally colorful and patched up me because, just because, I have laid out all the tricks and miseries before you, and this is who I think I really am.

crying jag.

New Perspective: The World Cup 2010

READ.

Facebook

Watch!
Mark Zuckerberg's Apology

note: BP was tagged. lol.

despicable me

so cute~~ and hilllaarriiouss

dispicable me: agnes

FIFA World Cup!

Wavin' Flag by K'naan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTJSt4wP2ME

They played this song at the World Cup Kickoff Concert and I fell in love with it. So catchy and I love the lyrics!

I'm excited for the World Cup this summer!

twitter malfunction

sneaky

the village, an interesting movie with an even more interesting plot. the moment they showed that picture of all the elders standing in front of a counseling center, i could literally feel my eyes widen in full comprehension. people do crazy things when they have faced the very real injustice doings of trauma. but in its own twisted way, the movie was brilliant! *makes a grand gesture with hands*

"that's what girls do. we scheme."
ha, that's what i told him.

Sinkholes

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Hipster.

poop. what have i gotten myself into?

lyricals

so tell me when you hear my heart stop
tell me when you hear my silence
if there's a possibility...
i wanna know.

--

so i slid back the curtain and i
let the colours fill your space
never knew that nothing was
until too late

here i am
i'm walking down memory lane
playing games
tricksters in misery

oh, i forgot. how could i forget?

broken hearts

but baby, i'm a loser in love

eyes wide shut

never has coffee come to the rescue like this before. i'm not so sure my stomach can handle its chemical compounds much longer...nor my eyes. it feels like my skin is drooping all around my face.

one downfall to studying at panera's: i think my phone is vibrating all the time. that would be a negative. yet i check every time.

tomato soup

i am sitting here at panera's in an extremely unruly fashion.

:-)

food for thought.

i saw a girl today and i couldn't help but think, "wow. do i look like a slut when i wear clothes like that?"

China-Taiwan Relations

can we talk about china and taiwan for a second? well, since the 2008 elections of taiwan and the peaceful transfer of powers that occurred between the DPP and the KMT party, there has supposedly been a lot of improvements being made. for example, president ma has been keeping up communication with the PRC and has proposed a new ECFA movement that should increase economic ties between taiwan and the PRC. it will not only be beneficial for taiwan, but believe it or not, for china as well. however, what exactly does this new ECFA entail? nobody in taiwan knows, at least not the people. the KMT party, in the hopes of ameliorating relations with the PRC while holding true to the "three noes" of taiwan without compromising its de facto sovereignty so passionately upheld by the taiwanese people, has consistently lacked transparency in actions and policies when dealing with China. president ma has made attempts to stir up support among the people, though many would call his efforts, to say the least in the form of a less politically correct term, sketchy.

so what happens now? does china intend to prove itself to taiwan and the US, and for that matter the rest of the world, that it can in fact keep its word and willingly open up dialogue with the evolution of its age old enemy, the KMT party? will the new ECFA movement pass? and if it does, what are the implications for the US? will the US now have to review its outdated policies towards taiwan and the PRC and possibly be forced to cooperate on less-agreeable terms that may infringe upon its national interests?

regardless, why can't i just focus on my paper and get it over and done with?

Mother Nature Calls

Would someone please watch my stuff while I go pee? Kthxbye.

Focused?

My aspiration in life is to be able to say, "I could really care less about what people thought about me," and really mean it for as long as I continue to breathe, eat, and poop.

Paper from Hell

caffeine, check.
quiet setting, check.
research material, check.
computer, check.
brain, check.
determination, ?

...determination?

Lykke Li

I'm Good, I'm Gone
Little Bit
Dance Dance Dance
Tonight
Until We Bleed

The Walk by Imogen Heap

Still my favorite song. Great piano parts, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDWcwRSlS1s&feature=related

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - TR

feigning insensitivity.

why can't i just scoff at you and not care?

A first time for everything.

Went to my first real gay house party ever. Never thought I would be saying something like this, but it is refreshing how open they are about their sexuality.

Managed to make two gay guys jealous of me for getting to mess around with a straight pretty boy with blond hair and blue eyes...did not think that would ever happen either.

I am going to miss this place; I am making my premature farewells to DC, a time during which only too much has happened. What a semester.

ack.

i am so amazed at how i am always a few steps ahead of myself whenever i write these blogs... why can't i just listen to my own advice?? i always need someone else to tell me or i wait until i learn the lesson the hard way myself, you know...

but he's just so frikkin ugly! it bugs me. x

valentine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840NbiFF1zM

i miss my guitar.

note to self

i want a snuggie. i was just browsing through my friend's photo album on facebook when i saw several grandmas all bundled up on their couches in snuggies. mmm so warm and fuzzy and dreamy and...

--

I have never seen any place on earth so entirely flustered by the sight of snow. It's like DC is snow-challenged or something ridiculous along those lines. No plowing systems. Instead there are these small, incompetent bulldozers that scrape a full five-feet's length of snow up off the ground and heap what little they managed to gather onto the back of a dump truck. Three bulldozers working at a time clearing off one little portion of the main road.

Meanwhile, the US government has chosen to shut down and hey, you forget that we're in America. If the federal government is closed, why should anyone else have to go to work? My fellow interns and I have been trapped in the Hamptons for four whole days, an entrapment reinforced by the metro that has been closed this entire time. Let's just say that the living inhabitants of this sixteen-floored apartment building have already exhausted what little shared, common spaces are made available to us: the gym and the laundry room. Stuck, and beginning to experience the more minor symptoms of claustrophobia. Oh yeah, one more thing. Did you know? DC is expecting another 10-20 inches of snow tomorrow to Wednesday afternoon. (We've already gotten two feet of snow.) So what the heck. Where's the rum gone?

rifts

have you ever woken up to the sound of your own sleep talk? this morning i woke up to myself yelling "Well, get him the hell outta here!" this is the second time i've done it. also, when i was much younger, i used to think i was on the toilet when in reality i was peeing in bed.
nonetheless, i frantically peeled my sleepy eyes open to find myself alone in the apartment once again.
so quiet. i've never had so much time to myself before. or, now that i come to think of it, i have. but usually i fill it up with something much like watching shows, creating my own busy-ness by talking to friends, learning guitar, writing music, anything but spending time with the One I have been neglecting...

why do i keep avoiding him? why do i always allow my flesh to determine what i do with my time and what i choose to do with myself? [awkward pause]

my dream was very disturbing now that i come to think of it.

I See You

I See You by Leona Lewis. I want the whole Avatar soundtrack.

winter break

Why do I always do this to myself? It's the same pattern over and over. Every year I fall into a funk, a period of time when I feel deeply under the weather and sunk in a pool of bitter self-pity. I ponder the day when I will grow up, face my problems and break free of this cycle.

Wish it was warmer here in Houston. At least the sun goes down a little later than in the East coast.

I wouldn't say it was amazing, but Urbana was definitely a learning experience. God has also revealed my passion for the Middle Eastern people, one I have been afraid to admit for the longest time because I used to think it was inflamed by unrighteous-ly influential person(s). Now I know better. At least I sincerely hope so, but sometimes God can really be quite convincing.

Well, for a belated birthday present to myself, and mostly to brighten the mood, I have decided that I am going to watch Avatar in theaters again. Maybe in 3-D. Just 'cause it was that good. :)

Alrightee, Stephanie is over and out!